October 1st, 2016 started off as a very casual Saturday. I woke up, and put on my workout clothes to meet my best friend Brea at CrossFit. My husband was coaching class so I figured we would be going out to eat for brunch afterwards. After the workout (it was a team of three WOD) my partners wanted to take a picture. After taking the picture as girls always do I asked too see it. Of course I said “oh my gosh its so cute I love it” because I didn’t want to be difficult and say how I really felt, which was that I looked huge and I hated the photo. After the workout Brea Justin and I decided to go to Whiskey Cake. We sat at the bar and I ordered my go to, the Farmers breakfast which comes with bacon, eggs, arugula salad, potatoes and biscuits and topped it off with a bloody mary. After scarfing down all of my meal EXCEPT the salad, and reaching the end of my bloody mary, the conversation got real. I think I said something like “I just don’t know why i’m not losing weight, im trying so hard.” Justin looked right at me and said “babe, i’m not trying to be rude, but look at what your eating right now…” now pause, we are going to rewind a bit before you think my husband is the biggest ass ever.
When Justin and I first met, I weighed 110 pounds on my worst day. Throughout the years of us being together my weight fluctuated big time. From 110 to 120 to 130 back down to 115 all the way up to 140 and then back down again to 125. I have a husband who is so knowledgeable about nutrition but I continued to get frustrated when he would try and help me, and turn to all the ‘quick fixes” we have all heard about. Fit tummy tea, fit sticks, water pills, garcinia cambogia, laxatives, apple cider vinegar shots, simply trying not to eat, you name it, i’ve tried it. Through all of these “quick fixes” I tried, Justin could see I was unhappy which was why he would continue to push me and hold me accountable. He was always so good at holding me accountable. I think I thought if I said I was trying, then I actually would.
What I didn’t realize until we were at Whiskey Cake was that I didn’t want accountability because I wasn’t even committed myself. You can say your “trying” but actually trying is different. Actions always speak louder than words. What I remember the most about that day are the strangest things. I remember exactly what I ate, where we were sitting at the bar, who our bartender was, what I was wearing and what Justin and Brea ordered. But I also remember something else, the most important thing I remember was the overwhelming feeling of “readiness” I have ever felt. I was ready to commit, ready to take trying seriously and ready to let Justin help me. I also remember finally not feeling sorry for myself. The first thing that popped into my mind wound be “why does so and so eat like crap and look so good, it’s not fair.” Instead, I thought “When I lose 20-30 pounds I will love my body even more because I worked hard for it.” I left Whiskey Cake that day, got a 24 hour fitness membership and worked out that day. Side note-its the 24 hour fitness Justin and I used to work at years prior and one of the trainers asked if I had just had a baby…… lol. Just gave me more motivation. You should have seen the look on his face when I said “nope, but the reason you think that is the reason i’m here.”
I’m sitting here writing this 30 pounds down and living my BEST and HEALTHIEST life. I feel great inside and out. Justin and I still go to Whiskey Cake all the time and I still order the same thing just no biscuits and extra salad and sometimes a bloody mary ;). Justin and Brea and I call the conversations that changed my life “Whiskey Cake Conversations”. I hope that if you are struggling to make a change, you can take your two best people to brunch and have a life changing Whiskey Cake Conversation.